The Atlético Awards: The Bad

By: Al | June 16th, 2009

The great thing about being a blogger is that our posts don’t have to be objective, and we are therefore allowed to voice our opinion as much as we want. Thats why I have done my good share of bitching on this page, mostly because of player stupidity, bad results, crazy technical decisions, and the such.

I love Atlético, and obviously they haven’t touched their true potential all that often this season. Excellent players and excellent fans weren’t enough to motivate the team to make this season any less stressful and inconsistent. That’s why I need one more shot to give this bitching thing one last shot this season.

I already went over the good of this season, which was part one.

Now it’s time for part two…

So I present to you…. the Bad.

(crickets chirping)

Alright everyone, it’s only been nine days

(grunts and moans from the audience)

Some applause would be good right now.

(”Screw you Al!” is yelled from the back of the auditorium. Laughter ensues.)

Get that jerk out of here! Anyways… the awards.

Flop of the season: Nuno Maniche

Donut Colossus: what happened? It seemed like his return to Madrid was a rejuvenation and a way to make up for his flop at Inter the previous season, but his kickball-esque attempts on goal and big mouth pretty much ended his La Liga career.

He started off well, scoring the last goal in the 0-3 trounce of PSV in the beginning, and a few more goals from the midfield. But then his attempts at goal just became ridiculous. When the team was down goals, he would miss sitters and blast the ball into the stands. He still tried and tried, but his last hurrah was the first match against Porto. After this match, Maniche said in a press conference that Abel Resino “got his tactics against Porto all wrong” and just like that, FINISHED. He was constantly benched and left out of the roster…. and finally after not showing up to a game, his contract was terminated.

The season could have been sooooo much better, but Maniche wins flop of the season.

Honorable mention: Giourkas Seitaridis. He is a solid right back, and his crosses are very good, but Perea and Heitinga played much better in every aspect. Seitaridis also had some attitude problems, and he also didn’t show up to a game and was given his walking papers shortly after.

Worst section of the team: The Defense

An absolute given. The main reason the team had such inconsistent results all season.

It started with the 6-1 smashing by Barca. A week later, 1-2 loss to Real Madrid. A few months later, 3-0 by Valencia, then 2-4 by Osasuna, then 5-1 by Racing. And those are only the bad results that stand out.

We conceded 59 goals this season, nowhere near as bad as some teams, like Numancia’s 69 (huhuhuh).

The defense was faked out, outrun, and Leo Franco is the reason that we even landed 4th place. See: Valencia game.

I mean, our left and right backs do well, but the center is really iffy. Ujfalusi and Pablo/Perea are all solid, but they tend to be clumsy and slow in the box.

Honorable mention: N/A

Worst game of the season: 5-1 to Racing Santander

No video. Sorry. Don’t want to reminisce.

What makes this game the worst loss is the fact that it happened in a time of the season when there was nothing left to lose and the team was arguably in its best form all season. Unlike the 6-1 loss to Barca early in the season, in which the team was helpless against a team that had found their ground and was unstoppable (Messi’s scummy “free kick” didn’t help much either). Scorelines like these are what I refer to as rapeage.

Honorable mention: 2-4 loss to Osasuna. The fact that it was Osasuna we were facing at home is more than enough to justify.

Newest team on the Atletico “shit list”: Olympique de Marseille

I have nothing against them personally but the rest of the Atleti supporters have found a new enemy. Seriously, mailing death threats to the club? You guys are assholes, just like us. See you in the Champions League.

Honorable mention: Porto. There was really no problems between the two groups, but they still knocked us out of the Champions League, so they will make do with an honorable mention.

Worst way to win a game: Penalty for Kun Aguero’s dive against Valencia

Obviously not very proud of this. Aguero is way skilled but regardless of whether or not Cesar touched him in the box, there was no reason for Kun to have dived. And it wasn’t the only time he did it all game.

Want to be considered “world class” again? Don’t pull this crap again.

Most embarrassing picture of Kun Aguero leaked on the Internet: This one

Hehe.

Worst attempt to play as well as Diego Forlan: Sergio “Kun” Aguero

C’mon dude, what do you think you’re doing, you’re not even blonde.

(just kidding…)

Good season, Kun.

–

So that does it for the awards. It’s been a rough season but at least the objective to qualify for the Champions League has been completed. The team should aim for much more, if you ask me.

See you all again soon…

(Audience boos. Chairs fly and one hits Al in the face.)